If you ever sit in a tiny room with a strobe light, a fog machine, and the Venga Boys on loop, you will probably find yourself thinking about the Internet. The Internet is crazy. We don't even really know what it is -- a shared electronic brain in the ether of perverted efficiency? Wow. You can do some banking or read up on exotic parrots, find a restaurant or order a spouse. Shut-ins rejoice!

Some very unnoteworthy scholars recently gathered in a filthy apartment for a summit entitled "The Internet is crazy, yo!" where the Internet was credited with changing human civilization as we know it. The huge brains present compared the Internet to fire, the wheel, penicillin, the automobile, and that bicycle with the big front wheel and tiny back wheel, as one of the great discoveries/inventions that have transformed us from swarthy apes to sleek, sophisticated people.

Naturally, we had to disagree. However, having found this photo of a Grimace on a rascal scooter mowing the lawn, there was no longer any point in discussing human civilization.

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