As you may have feared, Pakistani cab drivers are banding together to take back the mustache. You have dragged their turmeric push brooms through your soft, fashionable grime for long enough. Furthermore.
10 year old girls are taking back their jeans.
Deadbeat dads are taking back PBR. You'll drink Natty Light from now on and like it.
Scooby Doo is taking your bowl-cutted girlfriends. They'll solve mysteries from now on, rather than flopping around like frumpy jellyfish to flash in the pan music. Muffin people, straight bran.
Brian Boitano's summer figure skating camp is taking back your boyfriends. What? He needs counselors.
Rednecks are taking back their t-shirts. They've caught on to your tricks and are repurposing them for their original purpose - to express a perverted love for killing animals.
Greyhounds are taking back their ribs and Barilla is taking your limbs. How long have you been adrift at sea?
Bums want their jobs back. Sitting around uselessly and buying beer with a fistful of dimes is their thing. You can't have it anymore.
The junkyards want the crap you sell on the street back in their dumpsters. Broken faucets and treasure troll heads belong on garbage island, not for sale on your dirty blankets. Living like a crab does not make you an artist.
Eighth graders are taking back their guitars. Your band sucks and an annoying haircut does not make you a rock star.
Put your clothes back in the nursing home burn pile. Return your books to Nancy Drew's library. It's ova, Rock! The act is tired. Give me something new.
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